You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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