and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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