My brain says no but my pants say off.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
