remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
