I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
