i don't like sucking hair
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize