the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
