Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
