next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
