DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
