yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
