I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's just like the Real World with babies
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
