So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
