its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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