No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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