Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
