I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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