We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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