What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize