I haven't been this sober since birth.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. đŚ
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? Weâre gonna unpack that later
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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