Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
