I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Mom said you looked used
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
