Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize