Can i not drive my cunt home
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
