last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
