Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
