My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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