My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Randomize
