I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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