i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize