i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
