I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
