so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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