just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
