i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
