we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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