Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
