wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
