Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
