if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
