If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
