Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
