you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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