You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
