I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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