his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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