i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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