god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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