we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize