The brown eye won't let me do that either.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
