For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
