You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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