Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
