nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
