There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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