A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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