There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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