She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
