At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
