She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So squirting runs in the family.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize