he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
