A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
