I bet he comes in French.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
