You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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