no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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